pssker02

through the butthole with Morgan Freeman ► ►

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sharonosaur:

George Carlin was too real

bravedad:

i wonder how many people i’m in the “i’d be down if you asked” zone with

Reblog6 hours ago with 151,806 notes

radvillain:

what my parents think i do

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what society thinks i do

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what my friends think i do

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what i really do

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Reblog10 hours ago with 427 notes

unfollowlng:

seenaill:

unfollowlng:

If you think your mom overreacts just remember once my mom cancelled our trip to New York because I refused to eat the meatloaf she made

my mom accused me of selling my birth certificate and social security to the black market when she couldn’t find them

you win

Reblog14 hours ago with 118,958 notes

cactsus:

my thick thighs and basic brown eyes will win over someone’s heart one day

Reblog1 day ago with 102,207 notes

apostlemage:

pyramidslayer:

look what you can buy

There is a Pope in the Cars universe. This means that there is Catholic Christianity, which means there was a Jesus car who was crucified. Jesus Chrysler was crucified by car Romans under Pontiac Pilot who washed his wheels. A car was nailed to a cross and ascended to Heaven.

coolscar:

*every highschool student when the teacher doesn’t show up after 2 minutes* “you know there’s a rule where if the teacher’s not here after 15 minutes we can just leave”

Reblog1 day ago with 372,044 notes

candiedmoon:

everything about this is pure gold.

harryedward:

A windows phone could literally predict the future and I would still want an iPhone

Reblog1 day ago with 32,268 notes